Living Through the Pain
by futureauthor62
Summary: Bella has gone through 10 years of her life lost and alone and helpless. She becomes someone no one wants to associate with. Until the Cullen's move to town and decide they want to help her.


**Disclaimer: SM owns all characters and anything else Twilight related.  
**

**A/N: Just something I wrote when I needed to get stuff out of my head. Not the same situation as relates to my life, but if you get the emotions behind it all, you'll get how I was feeling at that exactly moment. The words in here she uses to describe herself, is NOT how I feel. So, this story doesn't really have a summary, but here is some information you may need to know. All human. Rosalie/ Emmett, Jasper/ Alice, Bella/ Edward NOT together. Well, I think that's about it. Read.**

**Living Through the Pain**

I was depressed. I was alone. I had no one. The orphan. The loner. Emo. Whatever else the harsh people all around wanted to use to discribe me.

Things had been like this for as long as I could remember. I made friends once in a while, but they never stayed. They always walked out of my life at one point or another.

School was most definitely NOT my forte. I had always managed to get by somehow. But just barely.

I didn't care about anyone or anything. That's just how I am. So, today wasn't any different when I walked into the lunchroom and saw five very unfamiliar people at the table I sat at completely alone. I walked over to them.  
"Um.... I usually sit here. Alone."  
"Would you like us to make room for you? We could slide down a few seats so that you don't feel too crowded." a tall blonde said, looking up at me.  
"Yeah." They moved over and I sat down. I put my headphones in and blasted the music while staring absent-mindedly at the wall in front of me. I couldn't help but glance quickly at the five people sitting inches from me, having a conversation and not paying me any mind. I also couldn't help but notice how unbelieveably beautiful they all were.

Suddenly my eye was met with a bright green one. I looked back down at the table, not looking up again until I noticed everyone else leaving the cafeteria. I walked slowly to the Biology room, not caring if I was late or on time.

The first thing I saw when I got there, was the same pair of bright green eyes staring at me from the lab table I usually sit at. Alone. I sat down and stared at the table top.  
"Hello. I'm Edward. And you are?" I looked up at him, amazed that he was talking to me.  
"Bella." I said, and looked back at the lab table.  
"Well, Bella. It's nice to meet you." I simply nodded. He fell silent.

I didn't see or hear from Edward again until I was walking to my truck, in the parking lot, after school. I was just about to climb in the truck, when I heard my name. That was unusual, so I turned to look, and saw five people walking toward me.  
"Bella, wait up!" Edward called. I leaned against my truck and waited, against my better judgement. Normally, I would ignore the person and continue on with my business. I don't know what made this situation so different.  
"Bella, I want you to meet my family." Edward stated. I glanced at them again. "Bella, this is Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Alice Brandon-Cullen, and Emmett McCarty-Cullen." I nodded to each of them.  
"Bella, maybe we could all hang out sometime? Maybe come over to your place and you could show us around Forks a little bit?"  
"I don't know. I'm pretty busy for a while. Maybe one day though."  
"Okay."  
"I have to get going. The Orph--- um, my mom will be wondering where I am."  
"Okay. See you tomorrow, Bella." Edward said.  
"Bye, Bella." Jasper said quietly.  
"See you tomorrow Bella!" Alice was quite enthusiastic.  
"Bye, Bella." Rose said, watching Bella carefully with understanding lighting up in her eyes.  
"See ya, Bella." Emmett said. I climbed into my truck and pulled out of my space. As I was driving away, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw them all in the same spot watching me, and having a deep conversation. Who cares?

The next day, I didn't see the five new kids at all. I went into the lunchroom, actually looking around for them, but they were no where to be found. I went and sat at my usual table by myself.

I was nearly through the third song when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I jumped slightly and pulled out an earpiece, while turning to look at whoever had touched me, ready to give them an evil glare. When I turned around, I saw them. I smiled on the inside. Oh my god, what is happening to me? I've only known these people for a day and I'm happy to see them?  
"Are these seats taken?" Jasper asked. I shook my head and indicated that they should sit down. They all did so and I smiled weakly at them and looked down again.  
"Bella?" I looked at Rosalie, who had spoken so softly and carefully, it made me wish I could read her mind, to know what she was thinking. "Can we talk to you about something?" I nodded.  
"Bella, we- um- we know about your secret." I was stunned. Which secret did they know? Surely they couldn't know about---  
"We know that you live in the orphanage." Edward muttered to me.  
"Y-y-you know about t-th-that?"  
"Yeah. I believe you know our parents? Carlisle and Esme?"  
"Y-yeah. The only ones that would--- never mind. Yeah."  
"Are you okay, Bella?"  
"Y-yeah. Fine. Your parents- Carlisle, Esme. They- they weren't.....?"  
"Thinking about adopting you as the 6th child in the family?" I just nodded.  
"I don't know, Bella. They've been talking about it a lot. They won't tell us anything, but we hear things here and there. We didn't know it was you yesterday that they were talking about, otherwise we would have said something. And, NOT have said other things."  
"Oh. Um... I- I have to go. I'm sorry. I- I'll see you in Biology, Edward?"  
"Yeah. See you then, Bella." I got up and tried my hardest not to run from the room, my mind reeling. How much did they know about me? Why? Could I trust them? Could I trust _myself_ enough to try to trust them? I had to find out more.

I looked around. I found myself in my stall in the bathroom. Yeah. That's right. I said it was my stall. After someone had seen me using it one year, they spread it all around that I used it, and that it could be contaminated with something in my evil plot to kill everyone in the school, or something like that. I took out my blade that I had hidden well in the stall and begin to raise the sleeve on my arm. I thought about all the nasty stuff about myself running through my mind. 'cow' 'bitch' 'worthless' 'unloved' 'alone'. With that, I began to cut the words into my wrist. I lowered the sleeve back over my wrist when I was done, not bothering to wipe away the still dripping blood, or to even cover the wounds. I hid my blade back in it's position and headed off to class.

I walked in fifteen minutes late to class. I sat down at the table, next to Edward and ignored whatever lecture the teacher was giving about unexcused tardiness and how it was not going to be tolerated for much longer. Like I cared.

Ow. My wrist was still stinging. What did I do wrong? It had never acted up for this long before. I clenched my fist tight and breathed in slowly, trying to ignore it. The edge of a notebook slid in front of my face. I looked at it. There was a beautiful, elegant scrawl written across that page. If I wasn't in pain, it could be almost breath-taking. I focused enough to read what it said, '**Are you okay?**' I nodded. The notebook slide away from me, and then slid back a moment later. '**You seem like you are in a lot of pain. What's wrong? You can tell me.**' '_It's nothing, Edward. Don't worry about it, okay?_' I wrote back. He sighed, and a moment later, spoke quietly, but in a horrified manner.  
"Is that blood?!" I looked down. Damn. It was running down onto my hand. I pulled my sleeve down lower. Edward began scribbling furiously on the page again. '**Come with me after class. Carlisle, he's a doctor down at the hospital. He can help you.**' '_I don't want help. It's fine._' '**Bella, it most certainly **_**IS NOT**_** fine. I know what that's from. You cut yourself didn't you? Why?! Please. Let Carlisle take a look at it. Right after class. Please?**' I sighed. He wasn't going to give in until I said okay, was he? Probably not. I could see the determination in his eyes when I glanced at him. '_Why do you care so much? No one has ever cared before. Why now?_' '**I guess Carlisle and Esme just raised me right.**'I looked up at the board and pretended to pay attention for a second. I could still feel his eyes on me, so nodded ever so slightly.  
"Thank you." he breathed, so only I would hear it.

Class ended and Edward and I headed to the parking lot. I opened the passenger door and sat down silently. He got into the driver's seat and started the car. He took out a cell phone. He put it on speaker so he could pull out of the lot.  
"Hello?" came a voice on the other end.  
"Alice? Bella and I are going to see Carlisle."  
"Why?"  
"No reason. We just want to talk to him for a few minutes."  
"Oh. Okay. See you at home, Edward." Edward hung up and put his cell phone in the cup holder between us.  
"You didn't tell her." I stated.  
"That's not my job to tell people. It's your business and if you wish for people to know, you will tell them. I don't need to be the one to do it."

We arrived at the hospital and got out of Edward's volvo. He guided me into the doors and up to the receptionist's desk.  
"How may I help you?"  
"Is Carlisle busy at the moment?"  
"I believe he's in his office right now."  
"May we go and see him?"  
"Yes, of course. His children are always first priority."  
"Thank you." Edward started walking down the hallway and I followed him quietly. Three halls later, Edward finally stopped and knocked on a door.  
"Bella, come on." he said as he opened the door. I went in and sat down quietly.  
"Edward. Come in, son. Bella! This is a nice surprise. To what do I owe the visit?"  
"I was wondering if you could take a look at Bella's arm."  
"Yes, of course." Carlisle came over and sat down with me on the small couch I had occupied.  
"Let's see it, Bella." Edward said softly, kneeling in front of me. I held the end of my sleeve in my hand tightly.  
"Did you cut, Bella?" Carlisle asked gently. I nodded, ever so slightly. "Can I see it?" I stared at the floor next to Edward.  
"Bella, it's okay to be scared. But, we just want to help you." Edward said. Slowly, ever so slowly, I surrendered my arm to Carlisle and looked away.  
"Oh, Bella." Carlisle said, sympathetic. What was this strange emotion bubbling inside of me? I was unfamiliar with it. I looked back at my wrist. There were those faithful words, staring back at me with their ugly faces. 'cow' 'bitch' 'worthless' 'unloved' 'alone'. Those words couldn't have been more true if someone had screamed them at me.  
"Does it hurt?"  
"Not anymore." I said. It was true though. I was so afraid that they would hate me and this would ruin my chances of being adopted for the first time in my life, that the pain had gone away and I was able to ignore it better.  
"Bella, listen to me. None of that stuff is true. Trust me." Edward said.  
"You don't know that, Edward. You don't know me. And, it IS true."  
"No. You are not a cow. How could you ever think that of yourself? You are not a bitch. If you were a bitch, you wouldn't have asked us to move from your table yesterday. You would have ordered us. You are not worthless. No human is worthless unless they have committed a crime of murder. Those are the only worthless people." Edward said.  
"You are not unloved. Esme and I love you very much. We wanted you to become a part of our family. I was supposed to wait until later to ask you, but I think Esme would understand. Bella, we want to adopt you. Will you have us?" I looked at him with my mouth open. I was in shock. They wanted to adopt me? After this? I couldn't believe it. What was this feeling I was experiencing? Was it happiness? Yes, I think it was.  
"Yes." I whispered, because it was the only volume I could muster right now. Carlisle smiled and pulled me gently to him.  
"And, as for alone, Bella, you are no longer alone." Edward concluded.  
"I don't know how to thank you. I thought you'd hate me and that I'd ruined my chance of being adopted and living with a family for the first time in ten years."  
"Bella, we wouldn't hate you for this. It happens. It is very common in children who have been living in foster care and orphanages for years on end. We can help you through this. I promise. From now on, if you ever need to get something off your chest, please, come to one of us. You have seven people now that will be more than happy to help you."  
"Thank you."  
"Bella, would you like to come to dinner at our house tonight?"  
"Yes, please."  
"Okay. Let me just wrap this up for you, and then we can all leave. I was just finishing up some paperwork anyway. My shift is just about over. The paperwork can wait for the morning, I think."  
"I would like that very much. Thank you."

Carlisle wrapped my arm gently, but tightly enough. Edward and I walked down the halls and out to the volvo with Carlisle behind us. He got into the black mercedes next to us as we got into Edward's volvo.

We drove back to what I assumed was Edward's house and parked in the garage. I followed him inside. I felt my jaw drop as I entered into the main part of the house. It was even bigger inside than it looked from the driveway. The space was well used and decorated to show off the true beauty and size of the house. The back wall of the house, was not actually a wall. It was all glass. It was absolutely beautiful. She looked out the windows and into the backyard, where she found a breath-taking scene. They had a very large backyard, with a river running through it in the distance.

"Carlisle, is that you?" came a female voice from the kitchen.  
"Yes, dear. Edward and I are back. We have a guest with us." Esme walked out of the kitchen and into the main room, Bella assumed it was the living room, because of the furniture and the television.  
"Who? Oh! Bella, dear! It's so nice to see you!" Esme walked over and pulled Bella into a hug.  
"Esme, we have to discuss something. Bella and Edward came to see me in my office today, and I know we were going to wait for tonight. I hope you won't be angry, but, I asked Bella to join our family."  
"Oh, Carlisle, why would that make me angry? So, Bella? What did you say?"  
"I said, 'yes.' " Bella said, shyly as usual.  
"Oh, Bella!" Esme walked over and enveloped Bella into her arms. It was a truly happy moment. Bella knew in this moment, that she would be truly happy here with these people, for as long as they would have her. She could change her ways for them. And, she WOULD change her ways for them. She would become a totally new person. And, with their help, that would all be possible.

Bella didn't know how many times she could thank them for this opportunity, but she knew she would be thanking them for the rest of her life. They gave her the chance that no one else would. She was truly grateful and would do anything to make them happy that they chose to adopt her.


End file.
